1. Girls crave to challenge their social skills
So, as much as men have natural instincts to practice their physical and logical abilities, women innately feel the need to challenge their verbal and emotional skills. That being said, girls constantly need to feel their emotions activated, as well as express them verbally.
It is not that women create drama intentionally. We just notice many more details in interpersonal relationships than guys, since that is what we’ve been practicing for thousands of years.
We love to solve small interpersonal problems in creative ways. That is how we see relationships as challenging, progressing, and meaningful. That is how something is actually happening, and we are not dying inside out of boredom. That is how we attach more, as we feel that we are investing more.
2. Girls need a guy who is able to protect them
Also, naturally, and mostly subconsciously, girls feel insecure about surviving in the world alone. That is why we are attracted to confident and strong guys, who can make us feel safe and protected. By ‘strength, I mean emotional strength, or the emotional capacity to cope with interpersonally challenging situations and stay in control.
By creating drama, girls push you to lose control. They are testing you in order to make sure you really care for them and that they can rely on you. A girl in trouble needs reassurance that you (still) have feelings for her, and that you will stay with her even during hard times, accepting her unconditionally.
Moreover, the research conducted by Harvard Medical School found that women feel pleased when their partners feel unhappy, because they interpret it as their strong emotional investment and engagement in relationship.
3. Girls need (more of) your attention
There are two possibilities here:
- You are giving her enough attention, but she is not recognizing it (for example, you are constantly hugging her, but you are not telling her that she is attractive).
- You are not giving her enough attention.
The girls’ need for more attention may stem from her natural insecurity and need to have someone caring for her and reassuring her. But more importantly, it comes from her attitude that relationships are something you need to work on (like daily watering the plants!).
If she finds out a real or imaginary evidence that you are not really putting effort into your relationship, she will readily put you on all the tests required. If a girl makes drama, it is not because she wants to push you away. Girl makes drama because she wants to keep you!
So, you are not a failure making her unhappy, and she is not really attacking you. You are actually on a good way to have a good relationship with her, because she really wants both of you to commit.
I am not trying to say that criticizing, crying, or shouting are a good way to communicate. However, as this will most probably be happening to you with most of the girls, the first step in dealing with it and making things better is to understand it.